Author Archives: Paul

Every heterosexual teenage boy who ever heard this record hoped that his first carnal experience would be something like this. Of course, it never was. You’re a kid, a woman like this is way out of your league – you’re too young. Then many summers later, you hear it again and realise that the 31 […]

Today, I think it has to be Terry, a part- time pub singer who changed his name to Matt Monro and became arguably the greatest interpreter of popular song this country has ever produced. The pub where he was discovered, The Boston Arms in Tufnell Park, is just down the road from me and on […]

…..that turned me off the Notting Hill Carnival. Once the area’s affluent new residents began referring to it as “carnival” and comparing it to fiestas they’d attended in tiny Tuscan villages, it was all over for me. Back in the day, when the floats trundled past the end of my road, the carnival was a […]

As long as both personas are lovely, as is the case with Dianne Larrington. An upstanding member of her community, she works with young people, often from quite challenging backgrounds. She hardly drinks, seldom swears and is a paragon of kindness and virtue. But….every year at the Notting Hill Carnival her alter ego comes out […]

….to evoke summer and sunshine. This is a perfect example. The moment hear it, you can imagine life in LA around 1969. But if you were Bill, how would you feel about having this majestic paen written especially for you? Extremely flattered? Or ever so slightly scared?

…….but she doesn’t. I can’t sing, read music or play an instrument. She does all these things wonderfully, took her Music GCSE a year early and got an A*. I couldn’t be prouder and so I’ve found a track with “A Star” in the title. She got one and she is one. She’ll find this […]

…..about 100 yards from a bench where he and I once had a takeaway. I was sitting eating mine and he sat down next to me. If you recognise someone famous, there’s a certain arrogance in pretending not to, so I said hello. I was never a great fan of The Clash but in five […]

Very nice but usually containing some strange comestibles – Scottish shortbread, ginger preserve, gentleman’s relish. And often quite a lot a wood shavings to pack out the wicker basket. The best bit is, of course, the basket itself. It remains long after the shortbread has been eaten and the gentleman’s relish thrown away. If you […]

…I’m one of them but I consider myself old-skool. Cyclists like me have not taken it up recently. We don’t cycle to keep fit or to “do our bit for the environment”. We do not wear lycra or hi-viz clothing as a militant marks of eco-piety. We demand no special treatment. We cycle simply because […]

……I really am. I was barrelling round the M25 yesterday afternoon, singing along loudly and lustily to Cuddly Toy. A few hours later, I went to see Alan Partridge Alpha Papa and it features our hero doing exactly the same thing. It’s a great track because it somehow deludes the singalonger into believing that he […]