Author Archives: Paul

Let’s hope not. Sam Allardyce has been named the new England manager, though his appointment has not been greeted with huge enthusiasm. Or even the expectations that greeted the appointments of Fabio Capello and Sven Goran-Eriksson. Big Sam is seen as a lumpen journeyman who thinks tactics are a a kind of mint. I don’t […]

A few years ago, I was writing some of those food porn commercials for M&S that always began “This isn’t just any…” and they decided to change the music. They’d used Santana’s Samba Pa Ti for years, wanted something similar but different for their new summer range and I was asked to make suggestions. This […]

I was brought up a Catholic but have long thought that its liturgy is nonsense and anyone who believes otherwise is a halfwit. Yet I retain an inexplicable respect and reverence for the requiem mass. I was in Manchester yesterday for Caroline Aherne’s funeral and, although it was 200 miles from my childhood church, it […]

But it’s not who anyone thought it would be. Had we remained in the EU, David Cameron would have remained in Downing Street. But since we haven’t, it was widely expected that Boris Johnson, who led the Leave campaign, would now be measuring up for curtains. But no, our new Prime Minister is Theresa May. […]

The Spice Girls. This week, we “celebrate” the 20th anniversary of their debut hit “Wannabe” and the death of popular music. They were supposed to be a female answer to Take That. Except that Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow, at least, have proven and lasting talent. The Spice Girls were abysmal but, ironically, cannot be […]

So if I want to play one of my favourite half-forgotten 80s hits, I will. But if you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you’ll know that I got the skipping rope out too.

Waterford crystal. Heavy, beautiful and the perfect receptacle for a spectacular trifle. It was a wedding present from Caroline Aherne, who died today after a long battle with cancer. Back in the 90s, I knew her really well. I worked with her and Craig Cash on a series of TV ads for British Gas. We […]

It was released in 1970 and if you’re old enough to remember the 70s, you’ll remember something else too. Although there were lots of old ladies around, there were relatively few old men. That’s because an entire generation – around 800,000 young British soldiers – were wiped out in the First World War. 55,000 were […]

Last night England were beaten 2-1 by Iceland and knocked out of Euro 2016. It was a disgrace. Iceland deserved to win. Or more to the point, England deserved to lose. We have the richest professional football league in the world, they don’t even have one. Most of their team are part-time and their manager […]

Today Britain voted to leave the EU. A truly historic day with permanent and far-reaching consequences. This record just about sums it up. Not because those who voted Leave are ignorant, football-chanting racists but because that’s how they’re being cruelly depicted by the privileged, patronising people who took the opposite view. Not all racists though, […]