Author Archives: Paul

Happy Birthday to Her Majesty, 90 today. I’m no flag-waving royalist but I do like the Queen. Even the most hardened republican has a soft spot for Brenda, so I hope she’s having a wonderful day. I also hope she’s going out tonight and that this will be a fitting description.

Another huge loss. Victoria Wood was in the first TV commercial I ever made and was nothing like her screen persona. Her appearance on Desert Island Discs explained a lot. Hers was a remote, sad and solipsistic childhood – the plain, frumpy girl who seemed almost bewildered to have such brilliant comedic and musical talent. […]

In fact, I’d seen him twice. Both times in Waitrose and you couldn’t help but stare. 6 foot 6 and carrying the most impressive physique I’ve ever seen, this bloke was a truly magnificent example of our species. I wondered what he did for a living and I now I know. He hits people. In […]

Just reading David Hepworth’s new book about 1971, in which he argues that it was the greatest ever year for popular music. True, a case can be made other years but the case for 1971 is a particularly strong one. Maggie May, Life on Mars, Stairway to Heaven, Ain’t No Sunshine, Brown Sugar, You’ve Got […]

He’d be aghast at being described in this way. He’s always charming, always courteous and always smartly dressed. Too smartly dressed. And that’s the problem. The definition of good manners is making the other person feel comfortable but this man’s too-immaculate apparel has the opposite effect. I saw him today and for once he wasn’t […]

Ronnie Corbett died yesterday and a fond nation paid tribute. Social media was filled with contributors’ favourite Two Ronnies sketches, usually the famous Mastermind spoof where Ronnie Corbett answers the question before last and of course the classic “Fork Handles”. But this is my favourite, even though it features neither Ronnie C nor Ronnie B. […]

Happy Birthday to my old friend Peter Horne. We were at school together and, I’m sure he won’t mind me saying this, he was the clever, bespectacled geek from Central Casting. But guess what? He didn’t care. While most of his classmates supported Arsenal or Spurs, Pete was a staunch fan of Wealdstone FC. He […]

I love the Soho Theatre. Arena-filling comedians often do a few nights there, trying out new material in this tiny venue for a forthcoming tour. Last night I went along with my son to see Frank Skinner who had no material at all. It didn’t matter. He is one of the most naturally funny people […]

These are usually welcome words but on one occasion they were the harbingers of doom. I was about fifteen and had gone to the barber’s for a quick trim. The barber asked if I’d mind if the young apprentice cut my hair but within minutes, I could see in the huge mirror in front of […]

Bit of a PetShopFest at the moment, as the 30th anniversary of their debut album is celebrated on radio and TV. Neil Tennant remains the more vocal Pet Shop Boy. As Assistant Editor of Smash Hits, he knew just to how to appeal to kids and more mature music fans alike but I always found […]