Author Archives: Paul

Paul’s the most laid-back person I know. He left school and worked in the City. Probably because it was the first job he found but then discovered that his calm couldn’t-give-a-toss attitude made him a brilliant money broker. Never motivated by money, he ironically amassed a small fortune, then jacked it all in at 28 […]

….is British Gas reporting a sharp drop in profits. Hooray! This means people aren’t being forced to spend their money on heating and can use it instead for more frivolous pursuits. Making life, ironically, a “gas”. I recall seeing this version of Life’s a Gas as child and thinking that Marc and Cilla made a […]

Because sooner or later, it’ll get banned from the airwaves for the recklessness of its lyrics. Namely “Have a drink, have a drive” and “Do a ton or a ton and twenty-five”. But they were written in a very different era. Back then, people weren’t quite so judgemental about drunken drivers doing 125 mph. Or […]

…but it could just as easily have been about London. I’ve always loved this record. It sounds as though it was written on the fifth floor of an outdoor fire escape, way above the gritty streets below. On a hot night like tonight, you can almost feel the urban heat it gives off. It’s put […]

Many years ago, my friend Hilary O’Connor asked me to come to her nephew’s christening. “It’s karaoke”, she said, as if this was perfectly normal. I was at school with the O’Connors and they do weddings, christenings, even funerals (especially funerals), better than any family I know. The Karaoke Christening was a perfect example. Somewhere […]

I have a 16-year-old-daughter so it’s an occupational hazard. Unlike the majority of big stores, most of it is underground and as the escalators carry you down to its gigantic, subterranean depths, it’s like entering the Seventh Circle of Hell. Among the hangars of hangers, the hundreds of female customers and the horrible, horrible music, […]

Mine plays the opening note of this, so every morning I find myself singing “It’s been seven hours and fifteen days…”. And then I look at the title, I’m reminded of Prince’s prescience – using text spellings before texting had even been invented. Gr8, eh? Lol!!

….was once one of London’s major attractions. We had a school trip there and I thought it was fantastic – an exhibition about all the nations in the Commonwealth. But after its 1970s heyday, visitor numbers dwindled and it was eventually closed down. Pictures of kangaroos, Canadian Mounties and black people harvesting sugar cane seemed […]

But I’m going today. Just saying.

Today we’ll be seeing that rather predictable headline as Fleet Street celebrates Prince George’s first birthday. Because that’s how posh people speak, isn’t it? They say “one” all the time, don’t they? Not really. But that corny headline reminded me of a great 70s hit by long forgotten pair of old hippies. So let’s use […]