Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show
It would now be very odd to say “my gay friend”.
Compared with a generation ago, it’s far less remarkable now to be openly gay. That said, my friend Graeme is sitcom gay – handsome, flamboyant and effusive. He and I went to the theatre last night and he turned up with Keren from Bananarama. Of course he did. Though he hadn’t realised that I was […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
The hardest part of writing for a living….
…..is the application of bum to seat. It’s very difficult to simply sit down, have a good idea and write it. Going for a walk invariably loosens the thought process and allows ideas to come to fruition. We all have our “wandering aimlessly around” track to accompany us, and this is mine. Especially apt because […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
We always got their name slightly wrong.
We called them the ELECTRIC LIGHT Orchestra, as though they were an orchestra made of electric lights. We should have said ELECTRIC Light Orchestra, a light orchestra with electric instruments. Much easier to call them ELO and recognise two things. Theirs was a hefty, worthwhile contribution to popular music. And Mr Blue Sky was not […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
Not going to happen now, is it?
Last day of September and the forecast is dry with sunny spells. So no “September in the Rain”. I should have played this on that Friday about three weeks ago when it absolutely lashed down but I forgot. Never mind, I thought, bound to rain again soon but it didn’t, so today this song isn’t […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
Feeling lazy this morning?
It’s Sunday, so millions of people are. Though I doubt David Byrne is one of them. He’s been working furiously all his life. He founded Talking Heads and practically invented American new wave music before forging a successful solo career, writing avant garde-orchestral pieces and working in theatre and film. He’s just published a book […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
I’m not what you’d call a feminist…..
……..but this record could have turned me into one. Just listen to the lyrics. Paul Anka wrote them and Sir Tom sings them with just a little too much conviction. Huge hit in its day and a frequent accompaniment to beauty contests on ITV. What was that, Tom? “I never would abuse her” and “She […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
The 70s was a decade obsessed by the 50s
It was. Films like Grease, American Graffiti and That’ll be The Day were huge. Even bigger was Happy Days on TV. There were more teds in the 70s than there were in the 50s and no matter what revisionist documentaries try to tell you, in the 70s you’d see far more teds than punks. The […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
Of course…….but maybe…..
The comedian Louis CK does a great routine in which he presents a point of view with which it would seem wrong to disagree: “Of course…..” then presents the opposing view, saying things we’re not even supposed to think: “But maybe….” So I wonder what he’d have made of the firemen protesting outside Clerkenwell Fire […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
I’ve had a rather severe haircut….
I blame my son. He works part-time at Murdock, probably the coolest of the new breed of old-style barber shops that have sprung up in the parts of London where hipsters hang. He texted the young barber with precise instructions on how to shear my frothy, Lionel Blairfro into something very short and contemporary. It’s […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next
I must have spent a third of my recent life picking my kids up…
…..particularly my daughter. And the areas can vary hugely. It could be a posh party in Hampstead or a dance class in a rough part of Hackney. When I go to one of the rough areas, this is the track that often accompanies me. Yes, I really do pretend I’m a gangsta cruising the streets […]

- Surely it's t...18th Nov 2017
- How tickled h...8th Nov 2017
- Back-handed c...6th Nov 2017
- Kevin Spacey ...5th Nov 2017
- Stand by for ...28th Oct 2017
- God, I loved ...27th Oct 2017
- Thirty years ...16th Oct 2017
- Doctors and n...15th Oct 2017
- The Florida P...14th Oct 2017
- Eel Pie Island.13th Oct 2017
- 50 Years of R...30th Sep 2017
- The Prince of...23rd Sep 2017
- Result.20th Sep 2017
- My favourite ...16th Sep 2017
- School unifor...14th Sep 2017 prev next