Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show

I was brought up a Catholic but have long thought that its liturgy is nonsense and anyone who believes otherwise is a halfwit. Yet I retain an inexplicable respect and reverence for the requiem mass. I was in Manchester yesterday for Caroline Aherne’s funeral and, although it was 200 miles from my childhood church, it […]

But it’s not who anyone thought it would be. Had we remained in the EU, David Cameron would have remained in Downing Street. But since we haven’t, it was widely expected that Boris Johnson, who led the Leave campaign, would now be measuring up for curtains. But no, our new Prime Minister is Theresa May. […]

The Spice Girls. This week, we “celebrate” the 20th anniversary of their debut hit “Wannabe” and the death of popular music. They were supposed to be a female answer to Take That. Except that Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow, at least, have proven and lasting talent. The Spice Girls were abysmal but, ironically, cannot be […]

So if I want to play one of my favourite half-forgotten 80s hits, I will. But if you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you’ll know that I got the skipping rope out too.

Waterford crystal. Heavy, beautiful and the perfect receptacle for a spectacular trifle. It was a wedding present from Caroline Aherne, who died today after a long battle with cancer. Back in the 90s, I knew her really well. I worked with her and Craig Cash on a series of TV ads for British Gas. We […]

It was released in 1970 and if you’re old enough to remember the 70s, you’ll remember something else too. Although there were lots of old ladies around, there were relatively few old men. That’s because an entire generation – around 800,000 young British soldiers – were wiped out in the First World War. 55,000 were […]

Last night England were beaten 2-1 by Iceland and knocked out of Euro 2016. It was a disgrace. Iceland deserved to win. Or more to the point, England deserved to lose. We have the richest professional football league in the world, they don’t even have one. Most of their team are part-time and their manager […]

Today Britain voted to leave the EU. A truly historic day with permanent and far-reaching consequences. This record just about sums it up. Not because those who voted Leave are ignorant, football-chanting racists but because that’s how they’re being cruelly depicted by the privileged, patronising people who took the opposite view. Not all racists though, […]

Britain goes to the polls today to vote on whether to leave or remain in the EU. Unlike General Elections where the old maxim “Doesn’t matter who you vote for, you still get the government” tends to prevail, this is a stark and simple choice between two very different futures. Every vote matter and I’ve […]

Three houses stand empty on my street while extensive renovation work is carried out. The owners of two are digging down into the basements. And once the basements arrive, you know that serious gentrification has too. I think my house now earns more than I do and I’m still not sure whether to be proud […]