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Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show

Worlds Shortest Radio Show

They’re to remain anonymous.

The supreme court has extended the interim privacy injunction preventing identification of a world-famous celebrity allegedly involved in a three-way sexual encounter. The man and his spouse, who have young children, can only be named as PJS and YMA. Who is this world-famous celebrity? Who knows? Who cares? Instead, let’s celebrate a great album that […]

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We still get a Christmas card from Barbara Windsor.

My wife used to be her agent and says that she was either absolutely lovely or absolutely vile. I was reminded of Saucy Babs last night when she bowed out of EastEnders for the very last time. I’ve worked with her many times and have only ever seen the lovely side. At 78, she’s one […]

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Yesterday was a hugely significant day.

In the history of popular music. It was the fiftieth anniversary of The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds and Bob Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde, two of the most celebrated albums ever recorded, and both released on 16th May 1966. There was commemorative documentary on Radio 4 which unwittingly illustrated the gulf between the two. Pet Sounds […]

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Boy Racer.

Max Veerstapen won the Spanish Grand Prix yesterday. He’s 18. Eighteen?? Yes, he may have only won because Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg had a spectacular crash but he’s a Grand Prix-winning Formula 1 driver at 18. Surely he hasn’t been alive long enough to have learned to drive that well. It is an astonishing […]

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There’s only onetonyharris.com

If you like this blog but yearn for something more edifying than its daily diet of silly songs and self-regarding stories, may I recommend onetonyharris.com. Tony Harris is one of my oldest friends and his musical knowledge is second to none. Now domiciled in the Far East, he returns whenever he can and it was […]

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It was a quote from Don DeLillo.

“You can be homesick for a place even when you’re there”. That’s how I felt last night when I visited St. Joseph’s Social Club in Wembley for the very last time. It was once the thriving hub of a huge Irish community and was run by my mate Frank Waites’s dad. Even though we weren’t […]

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To Finch’s in Portobello Road.

For my great friend Mairead Carty’s 50th birthday party. She’s a wonderful actress and voice artist whose sublime tones have made commercials I’ve written sound far better than they had any right to sound. With her rosy Irish cheeks and hair as black as Guinness, it’s hard to believe she’s 40, let alone 50. The […]

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The greatest saxophonist you’ve never heard of.

Johnny Field. My first boss and one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. A gentle, kind and witty East Ender, John always had great stories but was so modest and unassuming, you almost had to prise them out of him. One was that he lost his virginity to Lulu and another was that he’d […]

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Farewell to Upton Park.

Tonight against Manchester United, West Ham play their last ever game at the famous old ground. Back in the 90s, I had a memorable trip to see that very fixture at that very ground. At the time, I was friendly with a photographers’ agent called Denise Chapman whose brother Lee was playing up front for […]

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Happy Birthday to Sir David Attenborough.

90 today and a truly great man. I have nothing to add to the tributes that have been pouring in all day from every corner of the globe. Except to say that the lyrics of this classic song could have been written about him. And that, although Nat King Cole has been dead for more […]

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