Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show
Pride pool party on the roof of Shoreditch House.
That’s where I found myself yesterday. Don’t ask. But it was fabulous. I’d always been baffled by people who were “proud” of their homosexuality. I’m not suggesting for a moment they should be ashamed of it but surely your sexuality is just the way you happen to feel. Something for which you can’t really take […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
I don’t have any tattoos.
My grandad did. So did most of my uncles. Nowadays, they’re far more commonplace but most of us aged between 40 and 60 remain unadorned. We’re the wrong generation for tattoos. And we’re the wrong generation for festivals. We associate them with old hippies or young hipsters so we won’t be going to “Glasto”. We […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
Fleetwood Mac? Seriously?
I’ve got nothing against Fleetwood or Mac (s) or Stevie or Lindsey. I bought Rumours and Tusk when I was at school but I cannot believe they’re still going. Tickets for the shows tonight and tomorrow at the 02 are now changing hands for £1,000. For Fleetwood Mac? The music’s okay, if a little bland, […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
Happy Birthday to that bloke I had no desire to see.
My then girlfriend had tickets. George Michael at Wembley Arena? Bloke from Wham? Oh please, do I have to? But I went along under duress and have never been so wrong about anything (and that’s saying something) in my life. He was sensational and is the only artist I know whose cover versions are always […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
Did no one at the time think this was odd?
I cycled home through Clapton today. Down to Millfields Park, along the River Lea towards Tottenham and through Hornsey to Muswell Hill. Clapton was the childhood home of Helen Shapiro. It was where she lived when this topped the charts in 1961. Helen Shapiro was a huge star in that strange time between rock n […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
Stephen Fry.
Stephen Fry is adored and admired for his humour, his charm and his formidable intellect. I can attest that in real life he is exactly how you’d want him to be – funny, kind and generous to a fault. I gave him his first voiceover and years later, he provided a laudatory review for my […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
The impression you’re no longer allowed to do.
Is probably the first one you ever attempted. “Now then, now then..Howzabout that then, guys and gals….” And then we all discovered that the man we simply found “a bit creepy” was, all along, a dangerous and predatory psychopath. I went to the Park Theatre to see An Audience With Jimmy Savile, starring Alastair McGowan […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
My favourite restaurant ever…
…is Food for Thought in Covent Garden, unchanged since the day it opened more than 40 years ago. Small, cramped and awkward, it serves the best and cheapest vegetarian food I’ve ever tasted. I’m not even a vegetarian but I’d happily have eaten there every day for the rest of my life. Sadly, this iconic […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
Yesterday..
…I went past Abbey Road studios and realised that exactly 50 years ago, Paul McCartney would have been inside recording “Yesterday”. Just McCartney, his acoustic guitar and a string quartet. None of the other Beatles were involved. “Yesterday” was an instant classic which has been covered more than 2,000 times by artists as diverse as […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next
My son is in Montenegro.
I didn’t even realise it was a country. I thought it was part of Serbia. And I still call Serbia Yugoslavia. The former Yugoslavia, I’m told, is now seven separate states: Serbia, Croatia, Kosovo, Slovenia, Bosnia/Herzegovina, Macedonia and Montenegro. Apparently, if I watched the Eurovision Song Contest, I’d know this. But I’m afraid, to people […]

- So good, it's...7th Sep 2014
- My mate John ...5th Sep 2014
- Sad about Joa...4th Sep 2014
- To the lighth...2nd Sep 2014
- People sharin...1st Sep 2014
- Nicked for sp...30th Aug 2014
- "Yo' Bitch!!"27th Aug 2014
- I find myself...26th Aug 2014
- Lord Attenbor...25th Aug 2014
- Did your pare...24th Aug 2014
- How to buy a ...22nd Aug 2014
- Twelve A stars.21st Aug 2014
- To Mike Smith...20th Aug 2014
- Lunch with Ma...18th Aug 2014
- Back to the B...17th Aug 2014 prev next