Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show

“Dad was eighteen, Mom was sixteen, I was three”. The unforgettable opening lines of Billie Holiday’s autobiography “Lady Sings The Blues”. What follows is a grim story of poverty, tragedy and degradation. Billie was a prostitute at 14 before being sent to prison and then to the workhouse. Through talent and hard work, she became […]

Because apparently, we’ve fallen out of love with DIY. Not before time. Some of us never fell in love with it in the first place. Along with drinking tea and wearing slippers, “It Myself” is something I’ll never do. And for good reason. Speak to builders and they’ll tell you that much of their jobs […]

……and sealed in a tomb with a big stone pushed up against the door, here’s what to do………….Happy Easter.

How are we supposed to behave on Easter Saturday? Should we be happy or sad? Jesus was apparently crucified yesterday so surely we should be sad because he’s dead. But we know he’ll be alive again tomorrow so shouldn’t we be happy? Sad song or happy song? Let’s go for a happy song but one […]

In the Catholic community of my childhood, we were forbidden to eat meat on Good Friday. So as soon as McDonald’s opened round our way, my mate Eddie Keal and I would meet there to scoff a quarter pounder and raise a metaphorical finger to this ludicrous custom. We kept it up as adults, meeting […]

Whenever I watch a murder mystery – whether it’s Sherlock, Broadchurch or Poirot – I never, ever guess who’s committed the crime. Being so stupid and clueless is a good thing because my enjoyment is enhanced by my genuine surprise when the person I least suspected is revealed as the killer. But when I read […]

Don’t worry, nothing to do with gun crime. I’ve been shooting a commercial on a train in South London which gave me a view of London I don’t normally see. Because 90% of tube stations are north of the Thames, South London has a labyrinthine network of overground lines which all seem to thread through […]

I can never quite make up my mind about Sir Michael Parkinson. On the one hand, there’s much to admire. Son of a miner, left school at 15 to work on the local paper, did his National Service and became the youngest ever Captain in the British Army. He then returned to journalism, moved into […]

A young person said this to me today. “No”, I replied, “I bought them brand new”. Then I realised I bought the black suede creepers he so admired from Johnson’s in the Kings Road when I was still at school. Which made my Stray Cat-style rockabilly footwear very vintage indeed. Like most people, I’ve gone […]

There are some rare politicians regarded, even by their political opponents, as genuine and decent human beings. Kate Hoey is one, Frank Field is another and John Major is another. Even Ken Livingstone, who could hardly be more politically opposed to Major, has often praised him. They were both local councillors in Lambeth and Livingstone […]