I’ve spent a lot of time in football grounds. Unfortunately, much of it has been at Loftus Road watching QPR snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. But most games are enlivened by chants from the stands. Some so witty that if they were written for Radio 4 comedy shows, they’d be hailed as genius. Many are sung to the tune of Guantanamera. “Live round the corner”, Fulham fans sang to Surrey-dwelling Man United fans, “You only live round the corner”. And when Scotland goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia, opposing fans were kind and sympathetic, “Two Andy Gorams. There’s only two Andy Gorams”. And my favourite; to this tune and directed at QPR’s own Bobby Zamora, a striker not noted for the accuracy of his shooting. “When you sit in Row Z and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamora”. We wish it wasn’t true but it is.
In defence of football fans.

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