Lit a firework or owned a pet. The first because I’m terminally clumsy and would never have made it to adulthood with a full complement of fingers. The second because I just don’t understand why anyone would want to own a dog or a cat. I know – millions of people do, and they all cite reasons of love and companionship. I’ve tried to empathise but I still prefer to find those things among my own species. Today we’ll hear the annual warning to those who do light fireworks and own pets. Keep your four-legged “friends” indoors. Classic FM will be playing gentle classical music to assuage their fear of fireworks. Though apparently, a slow reggae rhythm is even more soothing. So tonight, bring your dogs inside and play them this. However, since all cats are fundamentally evil, put them outside and let off a few rockets.
Two things I’ve never done.

- Friday night ...13th Feb 2015
- The name of t...11th Feb 2015
- Another way o...10th Feb 2015
- Mike Leigh re...9th Feb 2015
- Maybe it's a ...8th Feb 2015
- Will they bla...7th Feb 2015
- The only ciga...6th Feb 2015
- Gary Glitter ...5th Feb 2015
- I should have...4th Feb 2015
- Don't worry. ...3rd Feb 2015
- RIP The real ...2nd Feb 2015
- The Curious I...1st Feb 2015
- What's your e...31st Jan 2015
- Why men are s...30th Jan 2015
- Don't you jus...29th Jan 2015 prev next