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I’ve been driving a Prius.

I loathe the Toyota Prius. But more than that, I loathe anyone who drives one. It was the first popular electric hybrid and is driven as a virtue-signalling emblem of eco-piety. Even worse, the Prius is also the Uber driver’s vehicle of choice. They seldom know where they’re going and dawdle aimlessly around, gazing in bewilderment at their SatNavs. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Prius being driven at more than 20 mph, so imagine the fun I had today when I borrowed one. I’m afraid I still drive as though I’m either in – or being chased by – The Sweeney, so there was something about being in a Prius that made me screech round London, pretending Regan and Carter were on my tail. With this blaring out of the open windows, I’d like to think it was the first time a Prius was signalling not virtue, but vice.

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