So what are you giving up for lent?

I’m giving up the work of Ronan Keating. I’m just continuing the great lenten tradition of people giving up things they’re not that bothered with anyway. They often give up chocolate because they want to lose a bit of weight. Or maybe alcohol because lent is a good excuse for a de-tox. It’s usually more about self-improvement than self-denial and my life would be improved immeasurably by not listening to Ronan. I’m sure he’s very nice but I detest every record he’s ever made. Smooth, smug and insipid he is the antithesis of the wonderful Irish people who were such a vital part of my childhood. So I’m delighted at the prospect of hearing him say nothing at all.