Obviously, I’m too old to sing this.

But more troublingly, my son is too. It was his birthday yesterday and he’s now twenty. It makes me feel very old to have a son in his twenties, but very proud to have this particular son. Apart from supporting Arsenal rather than QPR, he is everything I could wish for. Clean, cool and smart, he could never be described as a dirtbag. And now of course, he can never be described as a teenager.