“Please go out with my sister”

We were at a party and Katie Grogan was quite drunk. I used to work with Katie and the sister in question was Clare Grogan, lead singer of Altered Images. Clare had just split up with some awful bloke and Katie mistakenly believed that I was a nice person. I looked at Clare who was happily shotgunning a can of Tennents. This involves punching a hole near the bottom of the can, placing your mouth over the hole, then opening the top. The beer gushes out of the hole, so you can drain the can in about four seconds. Hmm, I thought, Katie probably doesn’t mean this. Clare’s a beautiful, famous pop star – she’s way out of my league. She’s just shotgunned a can of Tennents – I’d be way out of my depth. And could I really go out with someone – no matter how beautiful or famous – who says “Happy Burt-day”?