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The real difference between Tesco and Waitrose.

It’s not the food, it’s not the prices, it’s the customers. Waitrose customers tend to be brisk, middle-class and both quick and efficient in the way they live their lives and do their shopping. They’re in and out with a minimum of fuss. The Tesco clientele are rather different. They lumber slowly and gormlessly up and down the aisles – two abreast- like they’re in some sort of trance. Then they just stop at the most inconvenient places to discuss whether they should get the large or medium box of Corn Flakes. I was in Tesco this morning for what seemed like hours. By the time I finally escaped, I was on the brink of a breakdown, so next time, I’ll insist they play this over the Tannoy.

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