I have a 16-year-old-daughter so it’s an occupational hazard. Unlike the majority of big stores, most of it is underground and as the escalators carry you down to its gigantic, subterranean depths, it’s like entering the Seventh Circle of Hell. Among the hangars of hangers, the hundreds of female customers and the horrible, horrible music, you see glassy-eyed husbands, boyfriends and fathers – confused and disorientated in a Milton-esque nightmare. Some look like they’ve been down there for years, and that they’re all thinking exactly the same thing………
Ever been to that huge Top Shop in Oxford Circus?

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