I didn’t want to vote for any of them.

The candidates for the European elections were such a bland, unprepossessing bunch. But aren’t they always? How much more fun would it be to have Alice Cooper as your MEP assisted by a chimpanzee? I’ve always loved him. Or should I say I’ve always loved their lead singer because Alice Cooper was originally the name of the band. When they became famous, that name was attached to the singer. This was punk long before the Pistols and you can see where Malcolm McLaren got the idea for “Johnny Rotten”. “Alice Cooper” is just an act – contrived to court controversy, cause outrage and laugh at offended dignity. Alice’s alter-ego is famously one of the nicest, most genuine people in rock. Which is why he could never be a real politician.