Category Archives: Worlds Shortest Radio Show

I saddened by the death yesterday of Clarissa Dickson-Wright. She found fame relatively late in life as a TV chef and one half of the Two Fat Ladies but she was so much more than that. Ferociously intelligent, she was, at 21, Britain’s youngest female barrister before becoming a “dedicated alcoholic”. But I fondly remember […]

Though there was a time when, in my “community”, it would have been heresy not to. Among the North London Irish, St. Patrick’s Night was like Christmas Eve but with more Guinness. People would pile into Biddy Mulligan’s on Kilburn High Road before crossing the street to the National Ballroom for the Paddy’s Night Hooley. […]

Well, Earls Court. But the Ideal Home Exhibition really is the Seventh Circle of Hell. I think was there for about two hours in a sea of suburban slacks but I’ve expunged most of it from my memory. I vaguely remember a cretin demonstrating some sort of cleaning implement, “Perfect”, he declared, “For hosing the […]

I’ve spent a lot of time in football grounds. Unfortunately, much of it has been at Loftus Road watching QPR snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. But most games are enlivened by chants from the stands. Some so witty that if they were written for Radio 4 comedy shows, they’d be hailed as genius. […]

On the day of Tony Benn’s death, this seems a kinder way to describe him than “The man who shut down the pirates”. But in 1967, that’s exactly what he did. Before he was regarded as a wise and grandfatherly figure, Benn was seen as a wild-eyed bully who wanted practically everything under state control. […]

You know exactly what I mean. A shirt with a jazzy – though not too jazzy – floral pattern. The type worn by around 60% of the people who appear on QI. So I’m just waiting for the call. I know the show’s creator, its host and most of its regular participants. I know that […]

But not for long. I was asleep again by 3.04 and it was with my ability to do this that I made a rod for my own back. When my children were babies and woke in the night, it was always me who’d feed and change them. My wife insisted I was “lucky” because I […]

So I’m genuinely sad about the sudden death of Bob Crow. But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended I didn’t loathe him. I detested the misery he inflicted on the lives and livelihoods of innocent people by regularly calling tube strikes. There’s nothing socialist about deliberately hurting other workers, who rely on public transport, […]

I was working with a researcher the other night. We were in a house in South London, asking people about steamed vegetables. Not surprisingly, the conversation soon turned to other things including this track. “I’ve got it”, I boasted, “On 12″ pink vinyl”. But the researcher, who really knew his music, trumped that with “Ah, […]

Unseasonally beautiful weather in March. Warm sunshine and clear blue skies that kid us into believing that this is how it’ll be until September. It won’t be, of course, so even more reason to enjoy it. Especially on a Sunday. So unless you’re a priest or you play for Manchester City, you’re probably not working. […]