Possibly the worst record ever made.

We all have our “favourites” for this dubious honour and this is certainly one of mine. Novelty records like Mr.Blobby don’t count, neither does stuff like Napalm Death which is deliberately and self-consciously extreme. No, it has to be something that’s reasonably popular but that you personally detest. I despise this record. Banal, repetitive, musically feeble and the lyrics are really creepy. It’s just doggerel from a cheap greetings card set to music and could only find favour among the sort of people who say “A stranger is a friend I haven’t met yet”. But I’ve managed to find a use for it. I’d like it played on a continuous loop for hours and hours and hours to the person who stole my bike this afternoon.